hate me , like me, hate me....

Who could possibly beleive that a office meeting could result in more work for me, the time off I requested for me in my life could turn into having to work more, while the "twinkies" spend their time at work playing farmville, and scouting out guys on "Plenty of Fish"... I have been there 6 almost 7 years, they have been there a few months.... Who would think when I was driving home I would pick up a young couple on their way from missouri headed to colorado springs, then to new mexico, arizona and california... Almost just wanted to go with them what a adventure,started off by car but the car broke down and so did the driver so they are just hitching their rides.... gave a ride almost to colorado springs, wished them well and came home to a babysitting job, not expected, and though I am known as the baby whisperer at work this baby just cries and cries when he is around me... I think his formula is not right seems really gassy but got to wonder, and speaking of babies I met my little downs baby today, could feel her lack of tone, but she is doing great and felt great peace holding and loving her... and supporting dad when he asked if I had someone with downs in my life... I told him about Ryan and assured that I have known people with downs for 19 of my 50 years of life, labels are not the end of the world after all we all have labels... Like my label of the twinkies.. I would love to have a great little mean face character that I could place after that nickname!!!!!

Valentines... straight lined....

Straight line... Went to the local grocery store wanted to get a pretty arrangement for my mom got a very sweet and simple arrangement and a tiny frosted cake to sit in her room as a surprise when she came back from dinner.. Yes the husband asked me to have a appetizer and drink but I figured I would have to pay... Sitting in the long line at the grocery store I had to wonder about all these guys buying flowers and chocolates... and all the radio condemnation about that... I would just love to come home to flowers, chocolates and maybe a fresco meal... Dare I say rose petals sprinkled on my bed and a bubble bathe, but then again we live a pretty ordinary life here... so I will make dinner, wonder about the future, worry about the past and live life... Kinda straight lined...

Tools...

Sometimes it feels like you just get lost in the things that need to be done without saying, the things that explode in your life when you are just trying to do the things that need to be done without saying, and the desperate feeling in side that you would just like to take a moment to breath and rediscover the joy within your own life. Sometimes at the boiling over moment
it is so healing to break the mold... Do something outside of what you do everyday day in and day out and just flow... it brings to life what one needs to keep sanity... Loved my day going to a book signing for someone I never even heard of but touched my life and gave me inspiration..
Go to a exotic spice store and savor the smells of blends that make your mouth water and to buy some and pledge to use them in meaningful not hamburger helper cooking. To think about how good it feels to write even if you have nothing to really say, and to love the fact that just when you think you have had enough.. another day presents itself and shows you it was another day and there was joy.